I want to remember the awe and hope I felt during my first couple weeks here at Texas A&M. I want to remember the feeling of honor from being in a doctoral program here and seeing the fruits of my continuous educational labor. This blog will help me remember the young woman who dreamt of being right here, right now. 

I am already being challenged in such a unique way as I learn to be an apprentice in my field. I never want to lose my sense of accomplishment from working towards a Ph.D., embodying my personal mission statement of refining my craft regardless of how far along I’ve come. I want to remember where I started and the bliss I felt in my heart when I began from beginning my journey here at Texas A&M.

I want to remember the giddy joy of hearing someone playing the piano in the MSC for the first time. I want to recall the joy and inspiration pouring out of me when I met fellow scholars who think similarly to me. I want to remember the fun I had decorating my desk with small pink trinkets from Goodwill, or the joy of feeling seen and understood by those who share my passion for being a lifelong learner. It has truly been remarkable to feel the freedom of having space to be my full self in an environment that promotes individuality while also fostering collaboration.

Sharing the awe I have for this life as an Aggie Ph.D. student is a joy I want to remember for myself, but more intentionally, I want to share the positive side of a transition period that is also stressful time. I want to share my vulnerability, so that others can peek behind the veil of graduate school and see the joys that come from starting a doctoral program rather than just the overwhelming nervousness. With stress comes a sense of rebirth where the possibilities for the future are up to you. What a beautiful and daunting task to embark on! One that I hope I will be able to offer a spot of hope amid increasing workloads and obligations.

Whether you are in your first year, your final year, or somewhere in between, I encourage you to be in awe of your surroundings. I ask you to sit in reflection of the hard work you have accomplished, and the unique path you have carved unique to you thus far. You have so much to feel proud of, truly. I want to share the pride I currently feel in myself, because I tend to find it difficult to admit that the great feats I have accomplished are worth celebrating. However, being here in Aggieland and seeing the wondrous nature and ingenuity of those around me has helped me to take deep breaths and feel proud of the arduous journey that provided me the opportunity to even be writing to you right now. 

If you struggle with accepting positive comments or seeing the value in who you are or how you have come to be here, I have a challenge for you. I challenge you to go somewhere that inspires you. This could be  the art gallery at the MSC, a calming walk through nature, or even a movie theater to see creativity come to life. I want you to take the feeling of awe, inspiration, and appreciation that you are exuding towards your surroundings and direct those feelings of joy, awe, and pride inward. Take time to let the warmth of awe towards your own accomplishments sink in. You are meant to be right here, right now. Remember the positive impact you are having on those around you every day and remember the remarkable influence you are having on your field. From experience, it may take a few inspiring excursions to fully feel the rush of pride deep in your heart. I encourage you even more to continue to seek out ways to foster awe towards yourself and towards the accomplished life you are leading.