The stark contrast between the hopeful awe I experienced the first two weeks of the semester and the struggle that came with truly beginning rigorous research processes has been a difficult transition. A self-imposed pressure continues to push me to continuously add more responsibilities and obligations as the weeks progress. This sense of urgent productivity was bolstered by a past mentor of mine who would end his classes with the same phrase that still rings in my mind: “Go be productive! If you do not write anything today, you are not working hard enough.” Although I see the merit in this phrase, I feel it is one that can increase our sense of guilt as exceedingly high achievers. If we stay in this frame of mind, it feels as though we are asked to choose between small pockets of restorative rest and working beyond our threshold of sanity in order to prove our worth as academics.

Throughout the beginning of this month, I was weighed down by the worries of not being able to accomplish everything I needed to. The words of my past mentor felt stronger than ever: I was not working hard enough or pushing myself beyond my limit to progress. I could not witness my progress despite generating new ideas, solutions, and engaging with my colleagues daily. These thoughts came to an apex when I was able to exeprience my first rainy days on campus. 

I come from Tucson, Arizona, where the heat is dry, and rain is a rarity. This lack of exposure to dew drops dancing through the sky, made seeing the misty beauty of campus genuinely transformative where the gloomy sky counterintuitively helped my mind find clarity. There is something magical about the misty days here where I feel like I can breathe more deeply, think more clearly, and discover hidden gems within my own mind. Every time it rains, I exude more excitement towards my research and coursework. I am more prepared to take on mental challenges and brainstorm creative solutions to unexpected hiccups. The momentous effect that the rain was having on me did not feel like  a coincidence. 

As I pondered where the joy of rainy days originates in my heart, I realized that rain fosters a slowness that encourages my mind to pause and enjoy a moment of quiet. When it rains, we need to drive a little slower to stay safe and take time to look outside to gauge whether we need an umbrella. A rainy day brings gorgeous patterns of pelting droplets onto beautiful landscapes that remind us that sometimes we need periods of struggle to grow. We need a moment of peaceful silence while water drips by the window to remind us we are making progress. Rain accumulates over time, and we need to wait for it to drizzle over the course of a few days before seeing any fruits of its labor. I personally needed the rain to remind me that difficulties and struggles do not mean progress has halted. Needing to take a break does not mean we are not working hard enough. My mind continues to process information even while taking time to watch the rain from my window because it fills my soul. 

At the beginning of this month, I was convinced that rainy days held a certain type of peace that made me wish everyday was a rainy day. On a sunny day, I fill my days to the brim with activities, meetings, and no time to drink a whole cup of hot tea before it comes to room temperature. However, as I have continued to ponder, I realize rain is a signal for me to take more time to take care of myself and do things I enjoy. It is not the rainy days themselves that cast a spell on me. Rather, they allow me to foster peace in my soul where I otherwise seek chaos. Whatever season you are in this month, I hope these words have encouraged you to make time to take care of yourself and move a bit slower. To move slow is not to stall progress, as it may be the rest you need to sprint towards even greater feats.