March 2021
My dear friends, as I am writing this memoir, let me make a disclaimer. The purpose of this post is to share the experiences of my early days in Japan. I have no intention of hurting the feelings of any person, directly or indirectly, through my words!! The people of Hiroshima are an integral part of my life now. Some were like my second family while I was in Japan, and some became the best of my friends!
When someone is born and raised in a completely different culture and society and moves to a new country, how long do you think does it take for that person to imbibe the culture and accept the surrounding circumstances? Two or three years? It probably depends on each person and their personality.
Well, I do not know about the average time, but it took me almost two years to finally understand Japan and its people. I will tell you why.
Let me tell you my first impression of a Japanese person. Well, of course, it was, “Japanese are very bad at English!” Remember, my experience finding an English speaking officer at the Osaka airport and then in the great “ Shinkansen” was almost hopeless. But after almost two years of staying in Japan, I had almost forgotten my own “Nepanglish”and started to embrace the “Japanglish” accent. Cake was “cakie,” hamburger became “haambugga,” beer became “beeru.” Not to mention, “I go home!” And with this, I was on the way to becoming like the Japanese soon.
If there was a ranking of kindness and politeness, I must say almost every Japanese person that I have met will get a 9/10 for this trait. You must be surprised. Does that mean that nobody in Japan is selfish or mean or impolite? Well, don’t be amused, because politeness is ingrained in their behavior since kindergarten! With smiling and being apologetic by asking for forgiveness (“sumi-masen”), even at smaller mistakes or simply no mistakes, I must say they are excessively trying to be polite! After two years of staying in Japan, I was already starting to become excessively humble, saying “sumi-masen” and “gomennasai” with every action I made in public spaces.
Sumi-masen!!! ...
People at parties all over the world get drunk and do karaoke and stuff like that. It’s absolutely normal! But the difference between those parties and the ones we had in Japan was the fact that in Japan you must eat ramen after every party for it to be considered complete. The first party is always formal, the second party is often a karaoke with close friends, and the third party is an even closer circle with more drinking and, finally, the “ramen party.” Isn’t it amazing? You have all that funny, off-the-limits “talk” you have at parties, and you think, “Wow! I have finally entered the invisible ring. Perhaps now I am considered one of them after all!”
Then comes the second-day afterparty shock, where your colleagues will act oblivious to the previous night. They may not even speak a word or mention that “other night” until the next party. My own first experience of Japanese parties was very confusing, and it took me almost two years to crack the Japanese formula of party etiquette. Now I do crave ramen after a party, and I follow the rule, “What goes in a Japanese party, stays in it!”
I prefer “okonomiyaki” over pizza, “karaagey” over KFC chicken, and when traveling the first thing I do is grab an “onigiri” for myself and my daughter rather than a sandwich or a burger. The Japanese version of naan, “carrey-naan,” from the Nepalese restaurant is what I would order instead of the much spicier original version. Even the original curry taste of my country has been overshadowed by the famous Japanese “carrey-rice” that I got in the cafeteria!
The most helpful behavior that I learned in Japan, and one for which I have much respect, is the level of patience that everyone has. Whether it is a 3-4 hour queue to simply get a ferry to the rabbit island or an hour queue to dine at their favorite “okonomiyaki” restaurant, the Japanese have patience for it all. Having patience in small and big things in life without uttering a sigh has been one of my own norms these days.
I have learned to have patience in small things. I have learned to “let it go” rather than voice my opinion over smaller conflicts in the department.
Avoiding people’s eyes while walking and smiling to strangers on the way is almost forgotten.
I am so used to saying “YES,” even when I feel like saying a straight “NO.”
Most importantly, I have learned to have fun without a larger group of friends and extended family!
In some ways I feel good about all these transitions, but sometimes I wonder, “Is this really me?”
For better or for worse, I must have been a Japanese version of the Nepalese inside of me.
At this point of time, I cannot say whether I will have these Japanese traits in me for the rest of my life (especially since living my life here in the U.S. as a student will definitely change m some).
But all I can say is, “While in Japan, be like the Japanese!”
Madhu Shrestha is a master’s student in the Department of Oral Diagnostic Sciences.
When someone is born and raised in a completely different culture and society and moves to a new country, how long do you think does it take for that person to imbibe the culture and accept the surrounding circumstances? Two or three years? It probably depends on each person and their personality.
Well, I do not know about the average time, but it took me almost two years to finally understand Japan and its people. I will tell you why.
Let me tell you my first impression of a Japanese person. Well, of course, it was, “Japanese are very bad at English!” Remember, my experience finding an English speaking officer at the Osaka airport and then in the great “ Shinkansen” was almost hopeless. But after almost two years of staying in Japan, I had almost forgotten my own “Nepanglish”and started to embrace the “Japanglish” accent. Cake was “cakie,” hamburger became “haambugga,” beer became “beeru.” Not to mention, “I go home!” And with this, I was on the way to becoming like the Japanese soon.
If there was a ranking of kindness and politeness, I must say almost every Japanese person that I have met will get a 9/10 for this trait. You must be surprised. Does that mean that nobody in Japan is selfish or mean or impolite? Well, don’t be amused, because politeness is ingrained in their behavior since kindergarten! With smiling and being apologetic by asking for forgiveness (“sumi-masen”), even at smaller mistakes or simply no mistakes, I must say they are excessively trying to be polite! After two years of staying in Japan, I was already starting to become excessively humble, saying “sumi-masen” and “gomennasai” with every action I made in public spaces.
Sumi-masen!!! ...
People at parties all over the world get drunk and do karaoke and stuff like that. It’s absolutely normal! But the difference between those parties and the ones we had in Japan was the fact that in Japan you must eat ramen after every party for it to be considered complete. The first party is always formal, the second party is often a karaoke with close friends, and the third party is an even closer circle with more drinking and, finally, the “ramen party.” Isn’t it amazing? You have all that funny, off-the-limits “talk” you have at parties, and you think, “Wow! I have finally entered the invisible ring. Perhaps now I am considered one of them after all!”
Then comes the second-day afterparty shock, where your colleagues will act oblivious to the previous night. They may not even speak a word or mention that “other night” until the next party. My own first experience of Japanese parties was very confusing, and it took me almost two years to crack the Japanese formula of party etiquette. Now I do crave ramen after a party, and I follow the rule, “What goes in a Japanese party, stays in it!”
I prefer “okonomiyaki” over pizza, “karaagey” over KFC chicken, and when traveling the first thing I do is grab an “onigiri” for myself and my daughter rather than a sandwich or a burger. The Japanese version of naan, “carrey-naan,” from the Nepalese restaurant is what I would order instead of the much spicier original version. Even the original curry taste of my country has been overshadowed by the famous Japanese “carrey-rice” that I got in the cafeteria!
The most helpful behavior that I learned in Japan, and one for which I have much respect, is the level of patience that everyone has. Whether it is a 3-4 hour queue to simply get a ferry to the rabbit island or an hour queue to dine at their favorite “okonomiyaki” restaurant, the Japanese have patience for it all. Having patience in small and big things in life without uttering a sigh has been one of my own norms these days.
I have learned to have patience in small things. I have learned to “let it go” rather than voice my opinion over smaller conflicts in the department.
Avoiding people’s eyes while walking and smiling to strangers on the way is almost forgotten.
I am so used to saying “YES,” even when I feel like saying a straight “NO.”
Most importantly, I have learned to have fun without a larger group of friends and extended family!
In some ways I feel good about all these transitions, but sometimes I wonder, “Is this really me?”
For better or for worse, I must have been a Japanese version of the Nepalese inside of me.
At this point of time, I cannot say whether I will have these Japanese traits in me for the rest of my life (especially since living my life here in the U.S. as a student will definitely change m some).
But all I can say is, “While in Japan, be like the Japanese!”
Madhu Shrestha is a master’s student in the Department of Oral Diagnostic Sciences.