- Harem Pants
- There was a time in my life, a happier time when I thought that harem pants would someday cease to exist. Sure they had been fashionable in the 80s, the period that we will fondly remember for rock music, VHS tapes and the Cold War, but just like the awful, awful leg warmer trend, harem pants were simply not meant to survive longer than a generation. So when people realize how truly hideous they looked, those bizarre, ill-fitting, alien outfits were put into the back of every closet, never to be spoken of again. Until Gangnam Style. As much as I love the many eccentricities of his music videos, not least of all his signature galloping dance move, the second I saw his style of choice, clinging desperately to the last shred of relevance, I knew that my long years of harem-pantsless peace was coming to a bitter end. And while I do not believe that he was solely responsible for making harem pants cool again, his music video did force me to face the uncomfortable reality that some terrible trends just refuse to die.
- I feel like I might garner much more criticism for saying this. After all, at least we can mostly agree that harem pants are not for everyone, but bodysuits are sort of beautiful in a minimalistic chic way. But here is my issue with bodysuits: No matter how much we want to pretend that they are simply a kind of form-flattering, retro street chic top, the fact is that tops do not make you question your life choices every time you need to use the bathroom! When rompers came back into fashion, I went through a soul-searching moment in which I asked myself whether I really wanted to participate in a trend that seemed to exist only for the sole purpose of reestablishing the myth that women don’t need to expel waste from their bodies. Ultimately rompers proved too tempting a style to resist, as I joined the ranks of the many purveyors of this fashion that encourages one to hold everything in until you reach the comforts of your home. But bodysuits are one step above rompers because while rompers are loose and easy to maneuver, a bodysuit is the equivalent to a bathing suit that you wear to the mall. It is not made to come off easily.
- There, I said it. Tights are the work of the devil. Hear me out. Firstly, I was never a fan of tights. I couldn’t understand why anyone would willingly subject themselves to this awful fabric that would cling onto your legs like a second skin. But I admit that I might be prejudiced given that I come from a tropical country. Have you ever tried wearing a body-hugging article of clothing in a 90-degree weather with an average of 80% humidity level? I can assure you that it is not advisable. Secondly, I once made the mistake of standing behind someone as she bent over to pick something up. Did you know that the material of tights is in fact, semi opaque? I guess that is why people usually pair them with baggy T-shirts. Well, I did not know that, and I certainly did not expect to see EVERYTHING that I saw that day. Shudder
In conclusion, it appears that I just hate tight clothing.
Joanne is a second-year Masters Candidate at the Bush School of Government and Public Service pursing a Master of International Affairs.