October 2021


I enjoy a good night on the town: two-stepping with a partner, drinking with the girls, catching up with old friends, and starting conversations with new friends. However, throughout my time living in a small town, moving to a large college city, and navigating a new and intimidating corporate world, I have learned some important measures and behaviors to ensure my safety and the safety of my friends around me.
 
Have a Buddy
If you are going to be drinking around strangers, you need to have somebody you trust stay sober. It is important, especially for young women, that there be somebody with you who is clear-headed and is looking out for your best interests; somebody who can drive you home safely, tell you when you have had enough to drink, and keep others from taking advantage of you. On the flipside, if you ever find yourself in the role of the sober friend, understand that your friends are counting on you to keep them safe, even if they don’t appreciate it sometimes. Respect that and be diligent.
 
If there is nobody to watch out for you in the company of strangers, it is prudent to remain unimpaired physically and cognitively. Limit your drinks, be aware of your surroundings, and understand that a public space does not necessarily mean you are safe.
 
Get Home Safely
While it is important to have people looking out for you, you also need to make sure you are self-sufficient in case you find yourself alone at the end of the night. Always watch your drink and never leave it unattended. Charge your phone before you go out and use it minimally to conserve battery. If you are walking home, know the route you plan to follow, and stay in populous, well-lit areas with as many friends as possible.
 
If it is possible to get a ride whether through a designated driver, public transportation, or paid transportation, this may be safer. Don’t get into an unmarked vehicle, and always have your phone ready to call someone in case of an emergency. Have 911 at the top of your close contacts or “favorites” list for speed and efficiency.
 
Be Able to Protect Yourself
Regardless of your political views on guns, every girl should have some method of protecting herself when out on the town. Most of my friends have pepper spray, some have a taser, and a select few have concealed handgun licenses. I have a bulldog. No, not a real live bulldog. My bulldog is a piece of pink heavy-duty plastic in the shape of a bulldog that hangs from my keychain and has two very pointy ears. I have never had to use it, and I hope I never do. In the meantime, it remains an unassuming yet effective self-defense tool that gives me an advantage should I ever find myself in a dangerous situation.
 
And of course, always make sure your self-defense tool is legal to carry with you wherever you live or attend school.
 
Understand that No Means No
Do not feel pressured to ever do anything you feel remotely uncomfortable doing. There will always be jerks who push and dolts who pull. You decide what enters, touches, and is around your body. The situations may get complicated where one day it’s easy to slap a guy from your hometown when he gropes you on the dance floor, but the next day you’re freezing up because your superior at work is putting his hand on your thigh.
 
It doesn’t matter who is making you uncomfortable, be it a stranger, some cute guy, or your boss. You have the right to say, “No,” and that response must be respected. Make sure you walk into a night out confident in who you are and your self-worth, both women and men alike. Be okay with walking away from a toxic situation. Be okay with saying no. Even better, find strength, dignity, and empowerment in saying no.
___
 
At the end of the day, you are your own best protector. Be prepared going into a night out and have an exit strategy with a few contingency plans. Remember to have a group of people you trust, a method of getting home safely, a way to protect yourself, and the resiliency to say no and walk away from toxic people and situations. Go have fun. Drink. Dance. Catch up with old friends. Start conversation with new friends. Simply make sure you aren’t sacrificing your safety in the process.
 
– Abigail Graves
 
Abigail is a master's student in the College of Engineering.
 

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