January 2021
The word “intentional” used to intimidate me. I was convinced that the more intentional you were with your life, relationships and career (school), the less genuine you were. I thought that to be successful or accomplish anything, you just had to have a natural drive or constantly “feel like doing things.” To me, loving someone wasn’t a choice and commitment, and doing well wasn’t something I had control over. It just WAS or it WAS NOT. You could be naturally smart or naturally fit or naturally funny, but if you weren’t, then sorry buddy, you’re out of luck.
In undergrad, everyone started talking about “goals” and “change.” I jumped on the wagon and started setting goals that seemed like good ideas, and then did absolutely nothing to work towards them. The desire for growth was there, but my old mindset that being intentional wasn’t real still influenced the way I lived my life.
I was so daunted by the prospect of being intentional that I couldn’t, or wouldn’t, commit to working towards my goals. I thought the commitment would feel arduous and restricting and would keep me from living my most liberated life. I was worried about losing spontaneity and free time. On the rare occasion I “felt” like working towards a goal, I would hit the gym one afternoon, read an extra article or meditate for 5 minutes, and then not do it again for a month or two. I would wonder why I never made it any closer to achieving anything. I did not feel like I ever made progress since the progress you can make in a week seems miniscule, I never noticed it. Because I never intentionally achieved anything that wasn’t specifically school-related, I began to have a very limited view of not only my capabilities, but also my capacity to grow and change.
Luckily, things changed. Let’s chat about the three major things I’ve learned that help me actually work towards my goals.
However, unless it was required of me by my participation on a team, I didn’t exercise consistently, so I never really saw any progress in fitness. During the course of my studies, I wrote a research paper about bone density and osteoporosis, because I think bones are very cool (I mean come on, the fact we have skeletons inside us is awesome and very spooky!). While writing, I learned that bone density, for women, peaks around age 23 and then has the potential to decline every year if the bones aren’t mechanically stimulated. If it declines enough, osteoporosis is imminent. Do you know how to mechanically stimulate bones?
Exercise. Pushing. Pulling. Using your muscles puts strain on your bones, causing them to grow thicker and denser and less likely to break — less likely to develop osteoporosis in old age. At the time I learned this, I was about 20, and I thought, “Time is running out!”
Around the same time, one of my favorite professors gave us a mini-lecture about consistency and goals. He presented us with the idea that even if you contribute 0.01% each day, every day, eventually those tiny percentages would add up, and you would begin to see progress. Doing a tiny amount is superior to doing nothing. In a year, doing nothing each day equals 0% of progress to your goal, doing 0.01% is 3.65%. That’s progress. The combination of these two things finally set a fire under me to change.
I decided to do CrossFit because my little brother, whom I greatly respect and love, was doing it, and I needed to lift weights to beef up my bones.
I wish you could have seen me those first few weeks trying to do burpees, trying to lift weights and being an absolute weenie. I could not do very much, but I had set a goal to go three times a week for a semester.
It was extra time to hang out with my brother and it was a big enough financial commitment to not want to miss the classes, so I actually stayed committed. I didn’t suddenly grow discernable biceps or get my “runner’s arms” to do pull-ups, but I kept going, and I had fun.
It changed my life.
(NOTE: This isn’t a plug for CrossFit specifically, but commitment to anything creates an environment for growth. This just happens to be what did it for me.)
Pretty soon, I saw this make an impact on my life outside of the gym. For example, large assignments got broken down into 3 major components, which then got broken down into 5 tasks that in themselves were easy to tackle. I could mark each task off my list, and before I knew it, a whole component was done and I was ready to tackle the next. Something that was daunting and seemingly unattainable was now complete.
My first semester-long commitment to CrossFit has now transformed into a 6-year habit, and I am amazed at what I’ve been able to accomplish through consistently just showing up. Giving my 0.01%. The girl who thought that real change wasn’t attainable and who was afraid to commit is eating her words.
Another part of breaking down a goal into attainable parts is not letting one day affect the next. I find it easy to slack off for a day, and then it’s easy for that day to become three, and then next thing you know, I’ve not worked towards my goal in a month. That’s always discouraging, and I’d be lying if I said it didn’t happen often. But this year I’m working on commitment by deciding to pick back up and work towards the goal today, even if yesterday I dropped the ball on everything.
Since July, I’ve been trying to get 10,000 steps a day for a whole month. I would forget about every two weeks and have a movie day or something, and be so angry when I realized that I had lain around and missed the mark. But I decided to keep trying. During the month of October, I finally met my goal. 10,000 steps every day for 31 days! It felt great to finally accomplish this kind of consistency! This goal was daily instead of having a distant end point. For me, that kept me accountable against procrastination “until tomorrow.” Even if it means getting off the couch at 11:30 p.m. to jog around my block because I had gotten caught up in watching Grey’s Anatomy, but I still needed 2,000 steps. This may seem like an insignificant goal, but it is empowering to see that I am capable of commitment and consistency. Now I believe I can be committed and consistent in other areas of my life, too.
Lately I’ve been working on making and sticking to a monthly budget. In November, if I stuck to my budget and didn’t overspend, I had set aside a little money to get dolled up and take myself to a fancy Italian restaurant (COVID-friendly, of course). It was fun and was helpful to look forward to when I turned down eating out or online shopping early in the month. Naturally, I broke budget week 3 and didn’t get to take myself on my little self-date, but that’s beside the point! I am going to keep setting up a fun activity for myself if I meet my goal, because I know in the month I finally get to do that, it will feel SO rewarding. Plus, the meal will taste even better knowing I spent that month being frugal and wise with my graduate stipend.
I have also been setting small daily goals for myself, like “do the dishes before bed.” I’ll set a small, daily goal like this for a month. I’ve tapped into my inner child and purchased some sparkly butterfly stickers to help. At the end of each day, if I have accomplished my small goal, I get to put a sticker on my calendar. This is one is so silly and almost embarrassing to admit, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t place that sticker with a happy dance. It feels good to accomplish what I set out to do, and even the reward of getting to place a sticker helps to keep me accountable! It’s even habit building; now I almost always do the dishes before bed. Waking up to a clean kitchen is a surprising highlight of adult life.
To sum it up, for me, working towards my goals has become a daily thing. Instead of being overwhelmed by the distance of a long-term result, I decide what I need to do on a daily basis and find a way to keep track of it and to make it fun. I never thought I was the type of person who could run a half marathon, do multiple pull-ups, write bi-monthly blog posts or collect and analyze enough data to produce a poster and (hopefully soon) a paper. But I have done these things because I decided that I could, and each day decided to show up and give at least 0.01%.
What goals have you been putting off working towards? What do you want to achieve that seems too big to tackle? Comment what you want to work towards and get the ball rolling (We can compare stickers once we fill up the calendar!).
—Kalen Johnson
Kalen is a doctoral student in the Department of VTPP.
In undergrad, everyone started talking about “goals” and “change.” I jumped on the wagon and started setting goals that seemed like good ideas, and then did absolutely nothing to work towards them. The desire for growth was there, but my old mindset that being intentional wasn’t real still influenced the way I lived my life.
I was so daunted by the prospect of being intentional that I couldn’t, or wouldn’t, commit to working towards my goals. I thought the commitment would feel arduous and restricting and would keep me from living my most liberated life. I was worried about losing spontaneity and free time. On the rare occasion I “felt” like working towards a goal, I would hit the gym one afternoon, read an extra article or meditate for 5 minutes, and then not do it again for a month or two. I would wonder why I never made it any closer to achieving anything. I did not feel like I ever made progress since the progress you can make in a week seems miniscule, I never noticed it. Because I never intentionally achieved anything that wasn’t specifically school-related, I began to have a very limited view of not only my capabilities, but also my capacity to grow and change.
Luckily, things changed. Let’s chat about the three major things I’ve learned that help me actually work towards my goals.
- Commit.
However, unless it was required of me by my participation on a team, I didn’t exercise consistently, so I never really saw any progress in fitness. During the course of my studies, I wrote a research paper about bone density and osteoporosis, because I think bones are very cool (I mean come on, the fact we have skeletons inside us is awesome and very spooky!). While writing, I learned that bone density, for women, peaks around age 23 and then has the potential to decline every year if the bones aren’t mechanically stimulated. If it declines enough, osteoporosis is imminent. Do you know how to mechanically stimulate bones?
Exercise. Pushing. Pulling. Using your muscles puts strain on your bones, causing them to grow thicker and denser and less likely to break — less likely to develop osteoporosis in old age. At the time I learned this, I was about 20, and I thought, “Time is running out!”
Around the same time, one of my favorite professors gave us a mini-lecture about consistency and goals. He presented us with the idea that even if you contribute 0.01% each day, every day, eventually those tiny percentages would add up, and you would begin to see progress. Doing a tiny amount is superior to doing nothing. In a year, doing nothing each day equals 0% of progress to your goal, doing 0.01% is 3.65%. That’s progress. The combination of these two things finally set a fire under me to change.
I decided to do CrossFit because my little brother, whom I greatly respect and love, was doing it, and I needed to lift weights to beef up my bones.
I wish you could have seen me those first few weeks trying to do burpees, trying to lift weights and being an absolute weenie. I could not do very much, but I had set a goal to go three times a week for a semester.
It was extra time to hang out with my brother and it was a big enough financial commitment to not want to miss the classes, so I actually stayed committed. I didn’t suddenly grow discernable biceps or get my “runner’s arms” to do pull-ups, but I kept going, and I had fun.
It changed my life.
(NOTE: This isn’t a plug for CrossFit specifically, but commitment to anything creates an environment for growth. This just happens to be what did it for me.)
- Break it down
Pretty soon, I saw this make an impact on my life outside of the gym. For example, large assignments got broken down into 3 major components, which then got broken down into 5 tasks that in themselves were easy to tackle. I could mark each task off my list, and before I knew it, a whole component was done and I was ready to tackle the next. Something that was daunting and seemingly unattainable was now complete.
My first semester-long commitment to CrossFit has now transformed into a 6-year habit, and I am amazed at what I’ve been able to accomplish through consistently just showing up. Giving my 0.01%. The girl who thought that real change wasn’t attainable and who was afraid to commit is eating her words.
Another part of breaking down a goal into attainable parts is not letting one day affect the next. I find it easy to slack off for a day, and then it’s easy for that day to become three, and then next thing you know, I’ve not worked towards my goal in a month. That’s always discouraging, and I’d be lying if I said it didn’t happen often. But this year I’m working on commitment by deciding to pick back up and work towards the goal today, even if yesterday I dropped the ball on everything.
Since July, I’ve been trying to get 10,000 steps a day for a whole month. I would forget about every two weeks and have a movie day or something, and be so angry when I realized that I had lain around and missed the mark. But I decided to keep trying. During the month of October, I finally met my goal. 10,000 steps every day for 31 days! It felt great to finally accomplish this kind of consistency! This goal was daily instead of having a distant end point. For me, that kept me accountable against procrastination “until tomorrow.” Even if it means getting off the couch at 11:30 p.m. to jog around my block because I had gotten caught up in watching Grey’s Anatomy, but I still needed 2,000 steps. This may seem like an insignificant goal, but it is empowering to see that I am capable of commitment and consistency. Now I believe I can be committed and consistent in other areas of my life, too.
- Make it fun
Lately I’ve been working on making and sticking to a monthly budget. In November, if I stuck to my budget and didn’t overspend, I had set aside a little money to get dolled up and take myself to a fancy Italian restaurant (COVID-friendly, of course). It was fun and was helpful to look forward to when I turned down eating out or online shopping early in the month. Naturally, I broke budget week 3 and didn’t get to take myself on my little self-date, but that’s beside the point! I am going to keep setting up a fun activity for myself if I meet my goal, because I know in the month I finally get to do that, it will feel SO rewarding. Plus, the meal will taste even better knowing I spent that month being frugal and wise with my graduate stipend.
I have also been setting small daily goals for myself, like “do the dishes before bed.” I’ll set a small, daily goal like this for a month. I’ve tapped into my inner child and purchased some sparkly butterfly stickers to help. At the end of each day, if I have accomplished my small goal, I get to put a sticker on my calendar. This is one is so silly and almost embarrassing to admit, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t place that sticker with a happy dance. It feels good to accomplish what I set out to do, and even the reward of getting to place a sticker helps to keep me accountable! It’s even habit building; now I almost always do the dishes before bed. Waking up to a clean kitchen is a surprising highlight of adult life.
To sum it up, for me, working towards my goals has become a daily thing. Instead of being overwhelmed by the distance of a long-term result, I decide what I need to do on a daily basis and find a way to keep track of it and to make it fun. I never thought I was the type of person who could run a half marathon, do multiple pull-ups, write bi-monthly blog posts or collect and analyze enough data to produce a poster and (hopefully soon) a paper. But I have done these things because I decided that I could, and each day decided to show up and give at least 0.01%.
What goals have you been putting off working towards? What do you want to achieve that seems too big to tackle? Comment what you want to work towards and get the ball rolling (We can compare stickers once we fill up the calendar!).
—Kalen Johnson
Kalen is a doctoral student in the Department of VTPP.