December 2020
The scene: It is 3:30 a.m. in Bryan, Texas. Delaney lies asleep, peacefully dreaming about her future as a successful… something or other. She hasn’t worked that out yet. That is what graduate school is for, after all, right? Finding your calling? Or is that undergrad?
Anyway, back to the scene. Resting. At peace. Some may say angelic. Then bam. Scratch scratch scratch scratch. Eoow. Meow. Meeeeeooowwwwuuu.
Winter. Ms. Winter Snow Couri. Pronounced “Winner,” as in “winner, winner, cat food dinner.” Delaney’s neurotic, insanely hormone-crazed cat has struck again. You see, Ms. Winter is “in heat,” as the kids might say. Meaning, she is looking for a male cat to mate with. Like, right now. At 3:30 a.m. In Delaney’s very male-cat-free household.
Ms. Winter is not convinced. She thinks there is a male cat waiting to impregnate her right outside Delaney’s door, if only she can get there. Drat to the door, the carpet, and anything else in her way; she needs to mate, and SHE NEEDS TO MATE NOW! Or so she thinks. But who can really say? I am just a narrator, and she is just a cat.
Regardless of particulars, Winter Winter Cat Food Dinner wants out. Right. Now.
Meeeeoooowwwuuuuuu. Ooooowwwwuuu. Eeeeeeoooouuuu. Meeeeoooouuuuwww.
Rolling over with a sigh, Delaney replies, “No, I wasn’t sleeping.” As if. No way is Delaney this clever (or polite) at 3:30 a.m. Rolling over, what Delaney ACTUALLY says is this: “Ugh, Winter, what the heck? Why?!?”
But Winter does not hear. She is doing everything in her seven pounds of power to open the door. Condense herself down and slip under the crack. Why not? Throw her body at the door until it collapses. Obviously! Use her fiery hormonal rage to yowl SO LOUD she matches the frequency of the old house, the boards begin to shake, and it all falls to the ground, leaving her to find the male cat of her dreams. Abso-freaking-lutely.
Delaney, observing from the warmth of her, bed thinks, “Maybe she’ll quit. That’s what I do when my homework gets too strenuous. Same principal here, right? Winter is surely going to be ok with getting a B in Mating 101.”
Ahh, Delaney. So naive in her young cat ownership, she soon learns that no, her cat is MUCH more dedicated to her studies than she is. After 10 minutes of a litany of noises that probably woke her roommates, neighbors, and the dead, Delaney gets out of bed.
“ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, FINE. YOU WIN.” Delaney hoists Winter into the air, opening her door and walking her through every open room in the house. “No male cats. Are you happy now? Is this what you wanted?”
Winter is, unfortunately, not satisfied with this answer and would very much like to be put down, thank you for asking.
Knowing she can’t leave her alone roaming the house, Delaney does the noble (read: stupid) cat-loving thing and lies down on the couch. Time check? 4:00 a.m. After grabbing her blanky, grinch stuffed animal, and phone, Delaney goes to sleep and lives happily ever after in her dream, which she sustains for a solid five minutes. Then she proceeds to spend the next two hours attempting to keep her cat from breaking into all three roommates’ rooms, toppling the trash can, and ruining the blinds.
Winter lays on the floor and yowls. Delaney joins her. Winter immediately gets up to move.
Winter tries to get into the trash. Delaney grabs her. Winter immediately claws her way out of Delaney’s arms.
Repeat, ad nauseum, until 6:00 a.m.
Delaney says to Winter, “Ok, this time I mean it. We’re done. We are going back to my room and going to bed.”
Long story only mildly longer, this doesn’t happen. Winter again says, “No, mother, I must stay out here and make insanely loud noises so I do not miss my prince charming.” A note to the reader: yes, Delaney is starting to hear Winter talking to her at this time of night. But, that’s normal, right?
Delaney, in an attempt to calm and subdue her sweet, gentle, maniacal mastermind baby, picks her up. And then the world goes away. For 15 minutes, she stands there while Winter lays stretched out in her arms, purring and rubbing her face against Delaney’s as if she is the happiest cat in the world. Was Delaney annoyed? Obviously. Is she about to fall asleep standing up? Also yes. But now all frustration and anxiety are gone, as this tiny, innocent creature gently purrs into her chest, providing some much-needed vibration to help keep her exhausted heart beating.
As soon as she puts the cat down, the bubble bursts, and Winter McWhinyFace reappears. To keep Winter away from the door, Delaney does what any logical person would do: pull down a sleeping bag off her top shelf and lay against the door. And that is how she falls asleep, adjusting her wakeup alarm by two hours and waking up with a stiff neck to rival that of any graduate student stuck behind a computer all day.
-- Delaney Couri
Delaney is a master's student at the College of Education and Human Development.
Anyway, back to the scene. Resting. At peace. Some may say angelic. Then bam. Scratch scratch scratch scratch. Eoow. Meow. Meeeeeooowwwwuuu.
Winter. Ms. Winter Snow Couri. Pronounced “Winner,” as in “winner, winner, cat food dinner.” Delaney’s neurotic, insanely hormone-crazed cat has struck again. You see, Ms. Winter is “in heat,” as the kids might say. Meaning, she is looking for a male cat to mate with. Like, right now. At 3:30 a.m. In Delaney’s very male-cat-free household.
Ms. Winter is not convinced. She thinks there is a male cat waiting to impregnate her right outside Delaney’s door, if only she can get there. Drat to the door, the carpet, and anything else in her way; she needs to mate, and SHE NEEDS TO MATE NOW! Or so she thinks. But who can really say? I am just a narrator, and she is just a cat.
Regardless of particulars, Winter Winter Cat Food Dinner wants out. Right. Now.
Meeeeoooowwwuuuuuu. Ooooowwwwuuu. Eeeeeeoooouuuu. Meeeeoooouuuuwww.
Rolling over with a sigh, Delaney replies, “No, I wasn’t sleeping.” As if. No way is Delaney this clever (or polite) at 3:30 a.m. Rolling over, what Delaney ACTUALLY says is this: “Ugh, Winter, what the heck? Why?!?”
But Winter does not hear. She is doing everything in her seven pounds of power to open the door. Condense herself down and slip under the crack. Why not? Throw her body at the door until it collapses. Obviously! Use her fiery hormonal rage to yowl SO LOUD she matches the frequency of the old house, the boards begin to shake, and it all falls to the ground, leaving her to find the male cat of her dreams. Abso-freaking-lutely.
Delaney, observing from the warmth of her, bed thinks, “Maybe she’ll quit. That’s what I do when my homework gets too strenuous. Same principal here, right? Winter is surely going to be ok with getting a B in Mating 101.”
Ahh, Delaney. So naive in her young cat ownership, she soon learns that no, her cat is MUCH more dedicated to her studies than she is. After 10 minutes of a litany of noises that probably woke her roommates, neighbors, and the dead, Delaney gets out of bed.
“ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, FINE. YOU WIN.” Delaney hoists Winter into the air, opening her door and walking her through every open room in the house. “No male cats. Are you happy now? Is this what you wanted?”
Winter is, unfortunately, not satisfied with this answer and would very much like to be put down, thank you for asking.
Knowing she can’t leave her alone roaming the house, Delaney does the noble (read: stupid) cat-loving thing and lies down on the couch. Time check? 4:00 a.m. After grabbing her blanky, grinch stuffed animal, and phone, Delaney goes to sleep and lives happily ever after in her dream, which she sustains for a solid five minutes. Then she proceeds to spend the next two hours attempting to keep her cat from breaking into all three roommates’ rooms, toppling the trash can, and ruining the blinds.
Winter lays on the floor and yowls. Delaney joins her. Winter immediately gets up to move.
Winter tries to get into the trash. Delaney grabs her. Winter immediately claws her way out of Delaney’s arms.
Repeat, ad nauseum, until 6:00 a.m.
Delaney says to Winter, “Ok, this time I mean it. We’re done. We are going back to my room and going to bed.”
Long story only mildly longer, this doesn’t happen. Winter again says, “No, mother, I must stay out here and make insanely loud noises so I do not miss my prince charming.” A note to the reader: yes, Delaney is starting to hear Winter talking to her at this time of night. But, that’s normal, right?
Delaney, in an attempt to calm and subdue her sweet, gentle, maniacal mastermind baby, picks her up. And then the world goes away. For 15 minutes, she stands there while Winter lays stretched out in her arms, purring and rubbing her face against Delaney’s as if she is the happiest cat in the world. Was Delaney annoyed? Obviously. Is she about to fall asleep standing up? Also yes. But now all frustration and anxiety are gone, as this tiny, innocent creature gently purrs into her chest, providing some much-needed vibration to help keep her exhausted heart beating.
As soon as she puts the cat down, the bubble bursts, and Winter McWhinyFace reappears. To keep Winter away from the door, Delaney does what any logical person would do: pull down a sleeping bag off her top shelf and lay against the door. And that is how she falls asleep, adjusting her wakeup alarm by two hours and waking up with a stiff neck to rival that of any graduate student stuck behind a computer all day.
-- Delaney Couri
Delaney is a master's student at the College of Education and Human Development.
About the Author
Delaney Couri
Delaney is a second-year doctoral student studying equity, social justice, religion, music, higher education, and the LGBTQ+ community. They also have an interest in interdisciplinary fields. Delaney has been in College Station since 2015, receiving both their undergraduate and graduate degrees from Texas A&M. Delaney enjoys cooking, practicing yoga, painting, attending church, and walking. They find the most joy in community and are very close with family, friends, and their cat.
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